By Cherie
Date: 7 May 1999

pArAnOiD "LoVe"

we're always far apart,
but he stays in my heart.

i don't know how much longer i can stand this,
what's now a living hell used to be "eternal bliss"

i'm so paranoid that being far away,
he can cheat on me every single day.

my heart is a hypocrite...
caught between my common sense & desire.

he tells me our relationship
is based on FATE & TRUST
 
when we're together, i believe it
but the second i leave again, i get suspicious

i'm so insecure w/ myself 
that i'm sure he could find someone better

or maybe i just over-analyze
his every little word & action

whatever it is, 
it's making me crazy.

i get so scared he's cheating on me 
and that i'll lose him.....

my friends ask me what kind of a relationship it is, 
if i can't even trust him

well, it's been 10 months
and i still ask myself the same question.....

i try to brace myself for the truth 
by convincing myself that i WANT freedom

in reality, i don't!
i just want to be w/ him.

but it's so hard being far away
that i can't stand it another day.