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By pix Submitted by Pixiedevil24 Date: 2001 Jul 02 Comment on this Work [[2001.07.02.15.18.31302]] |
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i know this might seem strange to you, but i can't stop thinkin about you. You're unexplainable to me. We never had time to get to know eachother. I don't really understand what happened with us. Or what's happening right now. Or what I'm doing. I feel like i'm not myself, like i'm trying to impress someone. But i don't know who it is i'm trying to impress. Or why i give a damn anyways. So i wanted you to know that. That this isn't me. That what you see isn't true, it's just a lie. Just a cover because i think this is who you want me to be. But deep down i know it's not who you want me to be. I remember thinking that i wanted to shock you. To just blow your mind with a new version of me. But i think i didn't do it right. I think i got carried away. Josh was just a guy to make you jealous. I didn't kiss him all for you, it was a little for me too, i was trying to see how far i could go. And i think i went too far. I thought you'd think of me differently. I just didn't antisipate that you would think less of me, i just wanted you to see that i could be bad too. That i was like you. But i'm not. I couldn't be, i can't because i don't even understand you. yet. I also remember wanting you to respect me. And when i think about that it makes me want to cry because i know that i screwed that up. How could you respect me when i made out with one of your best friends? How could you respeect me when i started to smoke and loose who i am really. When i started to sneak out and drink to prove that i could. Well, who cares. It didn't do any good. I didn all this for you and i still had to watch you make out with liz over on her car. I had to sit there and listen to you tell me that you were leaving with her. And watch her hug you and look at you and you look at her. But i did this to myself. |