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By dev0n Date: 2001 Dec 03 Comment on this Work [[2001.12.03.00.17.7242]] |
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i left you a voice mail i'm not feeling well tonight, i said, and i'll call you tomorrow hope you had a good time today, as an afterthought and as i stood in the shower hating the chemical smell of city water wishing that my breasts were smaller hoping that one day i will feel well i thought about the fact that for the first time i felt doubt about us where did it come from? from knowing that i could get dressed put on some perfume and wander across town to be in someone's arms? if you could read this you'd be wondering who and really there isn't anyone it's just that you're not here or that i'm so young or that i want to marry you and you are somewhere else i am not feeling well tonight and i know you'll think that i mean my heart or my stomach or lungs but you won't think about my soul which is really where the problem lies i am coming to terms with the fact that i have committed myself to you more than i've ever committed myself to anyone or anything and if i was going to turn back i'd have to do it soon so this is normal? all at once i get the urge to call you back say something like okay, i'm feeling better, please come over once you've unpacked we can watch a movie, i rented three, and i really miss you in my bed but instead i am going to roll these things around in my mouth like a candy savor these troublesome doubts as i feel them melting away - december 1, 2001 |