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By Misti Date: 2002 Jun 14 Comment on this Work [[2002.06.14.21.25.4395]] |
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"And when they've given you their all, Some stagger and fall. After all it's not easy, Banging your heart against some mad bugger's wall." ~Roger Waters am I guilty of false advertisement? no. I am guilty of many things but you knew me fully before you flew me to New York. you read my poems the poems about you the poems about him the poems about how to ride out crazy on a Saturday night in Bum Fuckin' Egypt. you thought I was complicated... I wasn't so complicated, really. All I wanted was for once in my life to be fully invaded by a man I wanted/needed/loved/lusted/respected who wanted/needed/loved/lusted/respected me. I wanted too much too soon. we talked for hours on the phone I told you all about my terrible history with the opposite sex my messed up childhood all the residue all the dressed up and nowhere to go "oh my man I love him so" blues the booze how I broke a bottle of wine in the sink and drank it and wrote poems about brightly colored fish how I wish we could go back there to our Eden revisit all the midnight conversations it was new and sweet and I would go to sleep looking at your pictures taped to my dresser mirror. I wanted to be good for you. I wanted to be wholly yours. I wanted you to be the one to invade me. now it's down all around me. I've disappointed you. Broken your heart again. I've been breaking your heart for years. You and my mom say,"Find a church. Say your prayers." I don't have anything to say to that god. I know the verses. I know that a woman of virtue is worth more than rubies. I know I'm a bad Bathsheba. you say you never believed in Satan but you believe in him now. I don't know how to break a man's heart in a decent way. I've never had the honor until now. your life would be so much better and easier without me please let me go before I destroy us both. |