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By Bridget O Date: 2002 Jun 30 Comment on this Work [[2002.06.30.15.30.16051]] |
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"If I die and don't come back tonight, you can have my stuff" I said jokingly, of course I'd come back! "I don't want your stuff!" He said hugging me, "All I want is you" He kissed me goodbye and I hopped into a station wagon and was off: Off to the single best night of my life. The night that I realized what a big part of my life he was. And how much it would hurt to let him go, which I did exactly a week later. And when I came back the next day, I didn't really tell him what I did that night. And now, a month later I truly realize what a huge section of my life he took up and how hard it is to fill. You were the only person to ever make me feel that way- Uncomfortable but completely loved. And I'm not sorry. For doing what I had to do. Because you recovered. And it was either I hurt you then Or you hurt me later. So I don't know how much I really " loved" you in the first place, even though you loved me. And I didn't realize how lonely I am sometimes without you. Without the best hugger in the world whose hugs were all mine B/c you probably don't want to hug me anymore. I hurt you. I regret what I had to do. But I'm not sorry, NEVER sorry. Why did I remember all this today? You might ask, Because today would have been our anniversary. So happy anniversary baby. And if I die tonight, you can't have my stuff. |