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By ladyinwaiting Date: 2003 Mar 22 Comment on this Work [[2003.03.22.21.50.18993]] |
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I knew when we started that we were at different levels of growth in our journey. But, I never imagined that it would hurt me so bad when things ended. The one thing I didn't think of was that maybe you hurt too. I never ever imagined that I could hurt someone else, but they tell me I hurt you. When I ask for my items back and so much time had lapsed I was sure you did not care, and I could not understand why you had not returned them, but because of pain! That never crossed my mind. All I wanted to do was scream bring them to me, so I could see you again and perhaps touch you, kiss you, and love you. All I ever wanted was for you to love me, but because of my fear I would not allow you to love me and now it is impossible for you to. I am so sorry, you will never fully understand the remorse that I have. I am sure you feel like you were a dumping zone...you know where I brought all my past trash and unloaded on you. You did not deserve that, you were always so kind and accepting of me, but I was blinded by these walls that surround me. Oh how my God, my creator knows the pain that I feel. Can you see it, could you hear it in my voice when we talked; I could hear it in yours or maybe I am still blinded and unaware of it. Oh my God, I never imagined myself capable of harming another, please tell me that what they say is not true. And please forgive me if it is. |