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By CordovaGirl Date: 2003 Jul 22 Comment on this Work [[2003.07.22.00.39.19110]] |
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I should probably figure out what my problem is, why I constantly need to run away from the one thing I need most right now in my life. Maybe commitment-phobics and I should get together, and discuss why I constantly spend countless hours dreaming of the perfect scenario where the guy begs for me back, and I accept his apologies, in the midst of movie-style backgrounds, and movie-style soundtracks, when the break-up hasn't even happened yet. and I should probably decide whether or not to fall in love again, because I want to, but I can't decide whether or not I need the pain of it not working again, and me spending countless hours dreaming of the reasons it ended, and what I did wrong, because for some reason it tends to be my fault, even when he tells me he's sorry about everything. So I should probably figure out how to stop crying over three-year-old situations, and stop listening to the three-year-old inside me for more than three seconds, because maybe by not enjoying the feeling of feeling sorry for myself, I won't remember why I'm running, and the pain I felt after falling before won't feel as intense as the pain I'll feel when I realize how much more it hurts if I keep running, without ever letting my heart and feet stop to give me just enough time to finally settle down. |