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By Ali Date: 2006 Sep 17 Comment on this Work [[2006.09.17.08.58.10817]] |
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Should I deny it? No-- You wrecked me, that's true. I almost---but didn't have the time, and I hold that it's your loss, anyway. But some part of me still looks for you, still breathes your eyes in every shadow. I've seen you more times than you've seen you. But you wrecked me. And I let you. I pursued you. I planned everything out; I was not the fool everyone accepted me as. I tore the red tendrils from reason; I gasped at the thought of 'no'; I forgave and raged when forgiving was implausible, and rage was useless. I know what you were to me, but I can't imagine what I was to you. Shivering, I still feel the phantom pain of those monday morning silences, comfortable and dangerous-- they murdered themselves in absence, spilled the coals of solace into Circe's water. And you--you wrecked me. And I? I did my best to pretend that you were just leaving--not that you were leaving me. But you split the lark and stole the music. You wrecked me-- You ruined me-- And now you reach for me? I won't, I can't, forget myself, again. Don't ask me, Don't ask me to forgive you-- I don't want to know if, indeed, I can. |