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By Star of David Date: 2008 May 08 Comment on this Work [[2008.05.08.04.45.30275]] |
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I see you across the churchyard, your white shirt clinging, albeit slightly – it needn’t, I know every inch of skin underneath. It’s the white that always does it; it makes me want to ravish you. Right now, right here, in front of everyone, kiss you full on the lips and explore you all over again. But we can’t do that right now, can we? We can’t show anyone that the old fire still burns sometimes. The passion between us was always explosive and memories of those moments are flashing in my head again, making me weak at the knees. Yes, completely weak at the knees. When I look at you looking like this, I wonder if I have a weak heart – It beats so erratically at the sight of you. Our passion could never be denied and this evening proves the point all over again. You and I have no self control whatsoever – and how I revel in it. I move away, I need a drink and a seat; I need to regain some semblance of control once again – at least while there are others around, for now. I see you watching me, but I know this game well and we’ve played it before. Let’s charm others in full view of each other and play on. Strangely enough, even the ending is always uncertain. Who knows who will touch you tonight? I don’t. It could be me – you know I want to – but uncertainty always reigns, giving what we share (what shall I call it? Some things just cannot be named that easily) that added, much-needed twist always. I forget you soon enough. My attention span is limited, as you well know. But then suddenly, as I walk across the lawn, I see you standing ahead, alone, giving me that old knowing look, that smile, and the passion in your eyes is almost fire. Met with your full force head-on, I smile too. You dazzle me, utterly and completely – but only for a moment, I won’t let you in too deep right now. I turn away soon, pay extra attention to the man walking with me – I know it drives you crazy, but I don’t want ‘us’ to be obvious. I keep my phone in hand. I know you will message soon. We both know a call will be too dangerous, too much of a risk in this crowd, in which you and I have always been main players. Will you suggest a rendezvous, perhaps? A moment passes by and I’ve changed my mind already; I will make other plans for tonight. I don’t want to be with you when you can make me feel this weak inside. One touch tonight and I’d surrender everything. That smile was deadly. Finally you message. ‘You look ravishing.’ Interesting choice of words. I want to ask, ‘Will you ravish me, then?’ But arrogance stops me and instead, I reply, ‘I know.’ Soon after, I walk out; leave the wedding with a friend. But you don’t know that he is only a friend. And I still want you in the worst way. I know I will have you again soon enough. I just don’t want to make it easy for you, or me. What we share is a luxury to be treasured and savoured rarely. But you will have me soon. Wait and see. Just wait and see. Let’s play with fire. We both know that intense pleasure invariably brings pain. But I want you to come burn with me – again. (May 8, 2008) |