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By Ali Date: 2008 Aug 05 Comment on this Work [[2008.08.05.20.11.29079]] |
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There's a silence in my head, among the many words I've said and swallowed, trying and fighting the best way I know how (for me? for you? for us?)-- but is it enough? Tonight, I can't dig it out, and I can't separate the hope from the ache, the what-if wonder that you are, in a quiet panic that plays your eyes like lightening in the night: it has settled into the space where your words stopped, where your smile stayed, when you averted your eyes because you didn't know what to say. Today, I couldn't breathe. I still can't. It wasn't easy. Seeing you, etching the truth in hard lines, as if it were simple, as if telling you how I felt was like talking about the weather-- but I was all thunder without the storm. And so, we are at an impasse, because I told you that I care, but I can't feel things halfway, and I can't get close if I'm just going to lose you-- and I suppose that the rest is silence. |