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By Rawnata Date: 2011 Apr 04 Comment on this Work [[2011.04.04.23.11.32127]] |
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This obsession is CRAZY No, really. I can’t think, sleep, eat, work, run, play or be happy, without thinking about or connecting everything to you And I am SICK OF IT, completely FED UP. If you are materialize in my life – Just do it Already WHY has my entire life become about you? I have never met you and frankly, the way things are going, I don’t know if we ever will. Yes, yes I know that we are soul mates, That I am meant for you, just as you are meant for me But really, this distance, this silence, they are killing me Killing me every single day, every single moment, But hope won’t let me die It won’t let me forget or give you up. I hate how I am, Because of you, My life is on hold and I am just waiting and waiting and waiting. And like an idiot, I continue to wait.....steuppps. But you know nothing of me or my existence I’m afraid, nervous and scared to contact you I find that waiting affords me comfort of trying without really trying For you are my greatest earthly joy and biggest fear That being said, You have made me a cyber stalker. I google your pics, videos and stories Anything I can find that would bring me news of you and how you are I try to control myself, But even in my waiting When my tortured soul is restless and tormented You and you alone, are all that brings me peace And this pisses me off In the real world we are one, united in heart and in soul I feel you always, But in the conscious world, we are strangers Separated by distance and your lack knowledge of me I refuse to accept this and I fight back I fight back with youtube, twitter, facebook Anything that allows me to contact you, to be close to you, to watch you, To be connected to you in a way that at least one of your five senses can understand, So you can find me, acknowledge me, love me I need you to acknowledge us, Acknowledge what was revealed to me by my beloved some moons ago Acknowledge that I am not crazy and not wasting my time, Waiting in vain I hate that I am on this love journey alone Still waiting, waiting with no encouragement Waiting only with hope I try to respect you, respect your privacy I try to give you room I’ve un-followed, un-liked and un-subscribed But all I accomplished was to un-plug my heart And re-open the void, The wasteland My excuse for a heart before knowledge of you made it beat The swirling winds in the abyss of my chest cavity are all that I hear So I HAVE to log back on, Re-follow, re-like and re-subscribe Do you think I like being this way? That I like having my peace be in your ignorant hands? You without any concept of or longing for me? I want to pray to God to release me, But I fear that he will And all that will be left of me will be swirling sounds I am STUCK Stuck in the land of loving you completely, Stuck in the land of waiting for you Stuck in the land of hope Housed in the world of reality On the corner of ‘time to move on’ and ‘foolish’ |